I Refuse

I'm doing it again
I'm pulling away
I'm fighting the urge
I want to say
My nerves are on fire
But I'm digging in
I may never
feel this way again
I know that I'm quiet
compared to before
it's only because
I'm choking on this fear
the what if's
they've made a home here
in my head
in my heart
I shoo them away
they won't depart
I want to stay
to see you for the first time
to feel your eyes burn through mine
I want to stay
I want to see
I want it to be everything
We both think it could be
I want to stay
I plan to stay
so remember and don't give up
I'm fighting the urge
But it's getting stronger
I want to stay
I need to stay
I simply refuse to run away
I want to stay
I want to see
I want it to be everything
we are both afraid to say
I want to stay
I want to see
I want it to be