ugh...I forgot

so yeah, I guess I've failed at my initial challenge attempt. Therefore I shall start it over. Today.

Blog 1

It would appear that I am ill. Sad face. But perhaps it is a blessing in disguise? Who knows.

anyway, you know what I am not good at. Relationships. I am horrible at them. I misread things, I put too much pressure on myself. It's very frustrating.

Taking the challenge. day 1

well, I'm sitting here in my bed, on the first of the last 11 days that I will be sitting in this bed, in this room, for...well, ever, at least the room anyway. I'm moving, in 11 days. There is a lot to think about, and a lot to do. I wrote a letter of resignation today, let me tell you something, that makes me feel old. I'm not old. But wow does that feel like something I shouldn't be doing yet. Anyway

I am going to miss a lot of people here. This town may not be home, but I have built a family here, and it's one I will miss deeply, even if I don't get around to telling everyone all the time. Which I won't. I'm horrible at that kind of thing.

I wish I could articulate all the emotions that I am dealing with today. I wish I could just stay in bed, and put it all away for a few hours. I can't. But I really wish I could.

It's not that I'm sad to go, a part of me is. Most of me is excited to be moving on, to make a fresh start. I have a few job opportunities lined up already so hopefully that area will go well. I'm a little nervous about all of it. Living so close to my family and all, moving back in with my mom for awhile. Even if it is just 4 months. I live a very different way than my family seems to, and they don't like it even when I'm not just down the street from them. I wonder if they will be upset and hurt by it even more when I am. My roommates tell me all the time that they saw me more often when we didn't live together. It's true too. I am never home. Where i am depends on the things I'm doing. That may change some when I move. Who knows.

But I lined up the truck and trailer today, sent off my resume to a couple of places, applied to a couple of other places using Monster. After I write this I'm headed to the local office of a place down there to see about a job. I guess it's not that counter productive.

It all just feels very overwhelming, especially the finances involved. But it will all work out in the end.

Taking the next step

Well everyone, I've decided what my next move will be (literally)
I'm moving in June, like June 1st-ish. Where? To the St. Louis Area. Quincy hasn't really felt like home to me in a long time. I've been talking about leaving for years, and I've finally got things going to get out of here! I will miss all my friends, seriously, you guys are like family to me. But I need to pursue my life, and do the things that will make me happy. The grad school I want to go to is in STL, I have family there, and friends there. So it makes sense. The area also has the advantage of Max, yep there is a boy. But he is only the catalyst, not the reason for the move. Sooooo, I will finish this semester at QU, and head out. There are a couple of really cool comic shops that pretty much offered me jobs, so hopefully one of those will work out for employment. I'll give more updates on addresses/telephone numbers ect, when I have established everything. I'll be living with my mama for a month or three, so that i can afford to go. I'm very excited :)