Another day, another heart Sways, and this time....it's mine.

In the randomness that occurs in my head I play with words left unsaid. And I wonder lost in thought, about the
Crushing weight of numerous questions that won't leave me alone!!! But, it's cool, I'm good. It's crazy how the distance half-way clears my head. But I still can't quite forget all the things he said to me on that fateful night. And now spins the promise, that it will all turn out alright. As long as you catch me at some point, because this is a very long fall. And I am in for the long stretch, the deep pass, and don't you forget it. I'm not going anywhere, not anywhere at all. Even if it means losing everything. I will prove to you that I am in. I think you're worth it you see. To bad you don't see yourself clearly. You will one day. And for that, I can't wait.

Let's talk about Twilight and Edward Cullen

There's nothing quite like a literary man with a strong sense of protection and and an undying love. Mr. Darcy for instance, wow, what I wouldn't give for a man like that. Recently, I have been ambushed, from every angle, with the mention of "Twilight" and "Edward Cullen". The books were never a point of interest to me, until the comparisons of literature caught my attention. The Twilight Saga is being compared to Harry Potter, and Edward Cullen to Mr. Darcy. These are heady comparisons, and being well-versed in literature myself, I decided to read the books.

I will start with the books themselves. They get progressively better as you go, which is a good thing. The characters are well-written and engaging, while the plot leaves a little something to be desired. In my opinion they are not worthy to be classed with literature such J.K. Rowlings HP series. the caliber of writing, the attention to detail, the pure ability to saturate the mind, well, it's just not there. The writing is simplistic, making the books a good option for all readers of many ages, but truthfully, they will only truly ever appeal to women ( and possibly gay men) on a long term basis, since they are written from the perspective of a teenage girl in love. While Stepenie Meyer does an excellent job of communicating the emotions and the thought processes, the atmosphere and the action, and the detail, they leave a very small something to be desired. The only thing that Twilight has in common with Harry Potter is it's almost instant success, which is not enough on it's own to qualify it with the prestige it has been eluded to deserve.

Now, as for Edward Cullen himself. The eternally petulant, over-protective, perpetual 17 year old vampire of stunning good-looks and historical reference. Well, controlling is usually not considered healthy in a relationship, and while circumstances may dictate an amount of it here, I am not impressed. To compare Edward to Darcy is absurd. Mr. Darcy, who is a literary character of note, was proud, but never controlling, and he knew when to keep to himself. He was not suicidal, and did not run away from his love, but instead endeavored to obtain her. He did not push her to the ground, and leave her to wallow in pain. Nor did he constantly endanger her life. The fact that Edward is possessing of the skills to save Bella, does not give him the right to be considered romantic for saving her from things, she should never have been exposed to. Edward Cullen is in my opinion, irresponsible, controlling, and petulant. Not at all in Darcy's class.


These negative opinions are in no way a slight on Ms. Meyer's books. Quite the contrary, I found the saga enjoyable, and am in fact in the process of reading it again. I do feel that, it is teen literature, however, and that it has no place in the comparison class it has been found in.

Roll With It...

Wow, it's been awhile and sooooo much has happened to me in that time. And while it wasn't all fun, it was all for the good. I've now experienced the last piece of the puzzle to squelch my fears. My deep seated fears of falling in love. Now, I'm not in love, but I have finally been duped. Completely taken it, and I've felt that unrelenting pain. Well, it was unrelenting until I let it go. Realizing that I can let it go, with a bit of an overload, but still rather easily, is all I needed. I know that I can survive anything. Anything. And it's really opened my eyes to some things that I've known all along.

I committed to wait for someone a long time ago. My subconscious has always been waiting, and well, it's going to be worth it. I can feel it, in every minute fiber of my being, my soul, I can feel that it will be worth it. However it turns out, it will be what I need to experience. And I am ready to embrace that experience.

I've been hanging with a different group lately, one that I have grown to love beyond reason. Partly because there is a serious lack of the drama with them. I LOVE that. But mostly because I love them, they took me in and treat me like I've always been there. They support me, and it's not like we're close like family, like I am with m older friends (older refers to time not age) if I don't see them or talk to them it's not the end of the world, but it's like we all understand that we need each other, and we respect each other. It's very cool.

On the flip side of that, some other drama is happening with yet another contingent of people I call friends and acquaintances and well, we'll see how that turns out. I'm just not going to overstress it. I've made my preparations, and that's all I can do, if it goes bad, then I'll deal with it, if it doesn't, well then I didn't stres myself out needlessly. At least that's my view.

To quote my roomie, whom I love: "It is what it is".

And now I leave you with a song

"This is War"- Smile Empty Soul

I'm just a normal man
I wouldn't hurt nothing at all
But here we are

Our leaders have a plan
I'd only kill if it's for them
Now here we are

I drove in a car
And flew in a plane
To come to your house
And kick your door in

Now it's down to this
It's just you and me
I'll blow your f*ckin head off
For my country

I go to church and tithe
I go to work in my suit and tie
But this is war

I'm really not sure why
But the TV said that you were wrong
Now here we are

I drove in a car
And flew in a plane
To come to your house
And kick your door in

Now it's down to this
It's just you and me
I'll blow your f*ckin head off
For my country

My feet hurt from the sand
But I still I march on gun in hand
Cause this is war

This isn't what I planned
I wanted to be so much more
But this is war

I drove in a car
And flew in a plane
To come to your house
And kick your door in

Now it's down to this
It's just you and me
I'll blow your f*ckin head off
For my country

My country